Julie’s Blog
 
 
 
This year has been different, celebration-wise. I feel like I’ve gone through part of Cindy-Lou Who’s metamorphosis, struggling with finding the joy that I used to know. I think this is partly due to some conversations I’ve had with some dear friends who are somewhat disenchanted with the celebration of Christmas, and partly due to a book I started reading, the message of which seemed to be “everything you believe about Jesus is wrong,” but hasn’t (yet?) replaced it with anything I can believe in (I’ve put that book on hold until after the holidays).
 
So here are the images that have comprised my Christmas experience this year:
 
  1. That line from Dr. Seuss’ How the Grinch Stole Christmas, where Cindy and her dad are shopping and she’s experiencing mounting disappointment: “I look around at you and Mom, and everyone getting all kerbobbled. Doesn’t it seem a little superfluous?”
  2. Some soul searching to discover what the particulars of my testimony are and how they relate to the particulars of my life and the way I exist in the world.
  3. Taking the train to work and reading from The Book of Mormon on the way--I’ve had some significant insights because I let myself choose the best chapters to read each morning.
  4. Playing “What Child is This?” on the organ for prelude one Sunday. It nearly moved me to tears, it was such a beautiful arrangement. The next week I played “I Wonder When He Comes Again” for postlude and had a similar experience.
  5. Gifts--deciding what to give, to whom, and when, and how to wrap them (or not). I’ve scaled down considerably this year, although I don’t think I’m normally particularly over the top.
  6. Emma Smith. As I’ve played several gigs with the Ballard family’s bell choir this season I’ve been blessed to hear several times the song that (Oakdale Stake) President Ballard wrote about Joseph Smith from Emma’s point of view, and his wife, Pam, sings. Thinking about her and her support of and sacrifice for the prophet and the Church has given me greater appreciation for her life and witness. “To me it was given to mourn for my babies, to scrape from his skin tar and feathers that day. To me the first hymnal, and sisters in service. To me one embrace as they took him away.”
  7. Watching White Christmas on the big screen. Now there’s a prime example of an overdone Christmas, but I still like the movie. The highlight of that experience, however, was the organ concert beforehand, and the completely packed theater all loving the music and the movie together.
  8. Nauvoo. The Ballards and the rest of the bell choir and I took a quick road trip to play a fireside on Sunday, and that was a renewing experience for me. The photo above is of me and President Ballard venturing forth onto the frozen Mississippi Sunday morning. Seeing all those faithful missionaries losing themselves in service to the Lord and those who would dare to come to Nauvoo in a season when the town is completely covered in ice (beautiful, but treacherous) was a great reminder of the spirit of the season. They were so appreciative of our small musical offering and of the sacrifice we made to travel down to give it to them.
  9. The Mormon Tabernacle Choir and King’s Singers concert from last year, broadcast last night on PBS. What a magnificent and beautiful feast for the eyes and ears! My favorite part was when each of the six King’s Singers quoted a verse or two from Luke 2 with a musical backdrop. I think they shared their testimonies of Christ as effectively as the choir and orchestra did.
  10. Resurrection. On the way back from Nauvoo I listened to a talk given by a friend of mine on the topic and it really got me thinking about what it implies--both the literal resurrection and various forms of how the principle is manifest in our lives and on the earth. And after all, without the Resurrection, Christmas would be just December 25. And what would we then hope for? What light would come into the darkness of winter for us?
 
I guess the bottom line is that I’m grateful to live in a culture where Christmas is celebrated. Even though it is often superfluous and excessive, the underlying principle of joy at our Savior’s birth, or at least the hope for peace on earth and goodwill toward men, is still present, and shared by many around us. And it gives us a little bit of time to pause and reflect, should we choose to do so.
 
December is usually such a madly rushing month for everyone, especially students and musicians, as it was this year for me, but there’s always the calm at the end: Christmas Day, when you can set those things aside and consider the Truth that came to earth that day so long ago when Jesus was born and his sweet, noble mother laid him in a manger, entertained guests sent by angels and stars, and pondered everything in her heart.
Where Are You, Christmas?
Thursday, December 25, 2008